Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize