margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
wow bdsm is so cute
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
