I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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