I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
