So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
