We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
