Having a random hookup so left but love u
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
