I wish I could teleport
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
