Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
