I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
