I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
