I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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