he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
