This house was built for laser tag.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
