I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
