the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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