Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression

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(941): View more from Florida

i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head

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(571): View more from Virginia

I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar

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(830): View more from Texas

You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy

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(361): View more from Texas

Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween

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(530): View more from California

She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."

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