Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
