just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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