last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
