worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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