I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
