You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
