I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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