i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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