found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
