fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We are all done wearing pants today
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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