I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
