i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
