is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
