weddingsv make me drug and hornr
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
