Can i not drive my cunt home
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
