i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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