he shaved USA in his pubs
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
