i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
