I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
