I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
