I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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