I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
