the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
