Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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