I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
