:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Someone shattered a urinal.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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