i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
