How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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