Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
