So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
