True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
