i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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