i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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