If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
