I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
