New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
