But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Me too!
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
