Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
