Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
