And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
