Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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