After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize