toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
