your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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