Pappa wants mamma naked
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize