i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
