My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
