the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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