i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
