Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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