but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
