ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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