i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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